How Your Birth Order Affects Your Romantic Relationships

First born dating last born children

The issues usually

Sit down once or twice a week and ask some pointed questions. Do special things for each other. If your last-born mate is typical, he or she will always be ready for adventure and trying something new. Sande and I had a long overdue talk and shared our feelings. Firstborn with Last Born The firstborn always wanting to be in control and the last born always seeking comfort and wanting to be taken care of is actually a win-win kind of relationship.

You don't have to spend a lot of time or money. To a perfectionist, this may be a real trick, but bite your tongue and do it anyway. Make your spouse feel special. When talking about birth order, all general statements are indicators, not rules. Look directly at your partner and sense his or her feelings as well as trying to understand the facts being communicated.

How Your Birth Order Affects Your Romantic Relationships

One of the best bits of wisdom I ever received concerning marriage came from Dr. No matter what your birth order and that of your spouse, what counts is how you use your particular strengths and how you modify or deal with your particular weaknesses. Sally also told me girls want a guy who is tender, understanding, and a listener, who realizes manners have not gone out of style. Then they hold hands and talk about their problems. First-born females are often mothering types and last-born males often need mothering.

In other words, all these general guidelines are arrows, pointing in a certain direction, but that hardly means that the fate of your marriage has been decided by your birth orders. This went on through the early years of our marriage.

Laugh together, not at each other. Firstborn personalities and last born personalities. First borns prone to faultfinding must back off. The bit and the rudder control everything, and the tongue can literally determine the direction of your marriage. Get rid of the we've got-to-do-it-my-way attitude.

Keep in mind

Yes, this is a ponderous way to have a discussion. Most marriage counselors agree that men do not understand women very well. She married first-born, Wes, a meticulous perfectionist who is a dentist.

Place a clear bowl or jar in a prominent place where both of you can see it and deposit in it your suggestions. They tend to be dominant and controlling in relationships. There is no big mystery in making your marriage work, but it is always difficult.

For firstborn perfectionists

For first-born perfectionists, criticism is second nature. Keep in mind that as a first born your natural inclination is to give the answer, solve the problem. The issues usually focus on perfectionism and who has control. Those are your natural qualities anyway, so use them when things get a bit tense. Another important step is understanding each other's life-style.

When the husband wants to tell his wife something, he writes a suggestion on his pad and drops it into the bowl. The general rule is always try to laugh with your mate, not at him or her. In short, Mama Bear taught Papa Bear that parenthood isn't woman's work. Originally published on AmericanBaby. Discussing their spiritual beliefs and values was a way to open up about feelings that were bothering one or both of them.