Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder

Invalidating family environment and schizophrenia

It may be expected then that

The truth is that validation is not self-acceptance, it is only an acknowledgement that an internal experience occurred. Maybe they agree that your point of view in an argument when in fact they do not think you are being reasonable.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder

The truth is

If it is, then they can claim that they were merely misunderstood. So if you are told not to feel something, then you may feel it worse, get defensive or feel out of control, becoming even more emotional than you were before. Neither is she helped to cope with situations that she may find difficult or stressful, since such problems are not acknowledged.

My family see only the emotions I allow them to see. The answer has to do with something that the psychoanalysts, who got a lot of things wrong, got right. Family systems pioneer Murray Bowen framed this as a conflict between the forces of individuality and the forces of togetherness.

Such a person will disqualify what they are trying to get across just in case it is unacceptable to others. It may be expected then that she will look to other people for indications of how she should be feeling and to solve her problems for her.

Validation is not agreeing. But neither factor is to blame. You never think and always make everything harder. While certainly one can feel conflicted over those things, the focus of the analysts was far too narrow. The communications are very confusing.

Such a person

If we were told off for being sad, and were punished say, then maybe we would learn that when sadness comes on we should be hurt because the emotion is bad. People who love you want the best for you. Possible difficulties in these areas are not acknowledged and it is implied that problem solving should be easy given proper motivation. She will neither have the opportunity accurately to label and understand her feelings nor will she learn to trust her own responses to events.